Dreaming Of Fish: 2014

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Mandala

My final in drawing was meant to be a series of work that came from observation. Lucky for me my teacher made an exception and allowed me to draw Mandalas for my series. I've always been attracted to circular patterns. I would doodle them all through my classes in junior high and early high school. The universe took it upon itself to remind me of thing just in time for my final. By this I mean the subject kept coming up. In art history we where going over cathedrals with rose windows as a focus at times. I was also watching Peter Draws, someone who is a wonderful ink based artist who does do very intricate mandalas from time to time. Even my roommate would bring it up while I was playing with the idea of my series. She gave me two mandala coloring pages.

All of thing reminded me of how much I love doing this type of art. I'm really glad for that. I'll need to keep doing them. They all turned out really well. (Though the coppery one was never finished. I ran out of time. To be fair I only had to do 3.) I used those 50 cent folk art paints from walmart, basic crayola thin markers, and derwert colored pencils. Maybe there was some contey pencil in there too. It has been a while.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Hard Times

Last semester I came back to Colorado to start on the second half of my degree. I want nothing more then to be an art teacher. Of all the self doubts I have and all the insecurities that is the one thing that I truly believe in. I would be a great teacher. I've always been interested in learning information and passing it on. I know this is the right thing for me. This school has made me happy, really really happy. I loved every one of my classes and the people I meet shocked me with how good they where. I spent all my time trying to do the best I could and get he most out of my school. I participated in ways I never have in school before. I pushed myself hard to excel at all the art I did.

I felt like I was getting somewhere.

I'm probably not going back. My mom works the hardest out of everyone I know. She tried so, so hard to be able to pay for my school. It isn't working and her health isn't good. I've been working to find a job for the last month and it hasn't come through. I've looked for scholoarships but I don't qualify for the ones at my school till I get into my program. I need just one more class. Just one more class and I could get some help but I have no means to get that class done.

I got my fafsa information today....They are not going to help. I really hate fafsa. They don't ask what debt you have. They don't ask if you have had health issues that have set you back. They don't care if your father doesn't intend to help.

I don't know what I am going to do. I haven't a clue how to get out of this situation. How do I get people to notice me? To help?

I know I'm good at art but what do I do to benefit from that?

I feel really helpless right now.